Punishing Yourself for the Mistakes of Others
How often do we let ourselves get swept up in anger, forgetting that, more often than not, it only leaves us with the mess? We’re punishing ourselves for what someone else has done. The cost? A lot more than the issue at hand – it can be our health, our relationships, even our self-respect.
In this article, I share a personal journey through an “innocent” childhood rebellion – sneaking onto a bus without a ticket – and how a simple message over the driver’s head opened my eyes to a different way of seeing anger. It read: “To get angry is to punish yourself for the mistakes of others.” That thought stayed with me as I grew, and over the years, I’ve come to realize that dealing with anger goes far beyond swallowing our frustrations or waiting for things to change on their own.
Anger, I’ve discovered, is less about power and more about weakness – a flashing warning light that there’s a gap between our expectations and reality. And if we don’t do something, it’ll keep flashing louder, pushing us into action – or regret.
For those of you who feel trapped in a loop of anger, reacting without fully understanding its source, this article is for you. I’ll share the steps I’ve come to rely on to “decode” anger and turn it into a force that works for me, rather than against me. Join me in this journey – one that begins not with others’ mistakes, but with our own expectations.
